(Adapted upon request from the Spanish version written on 20-12-2018)
I have written a lot about this subject, and I thought I would not do it again. However, I find hard
to ignore so many absurd overprotective comments that often appear when a team wins by many goals or points in a children football or basketball game. This time it
was in Las Palmas (Gran Canaria, Spain), where in a 10-year-old children's football
match, the Unión Deportiva team (from the club whose professional team is in
the top division of Spanish football) defeated a modest team by 47-0. Two days
later, most probably there were not news about Ronaldo`s or Messi´s issues, and
surprisingly, the sports section of a powerful national television network
opened with the news of this "scandalous" result illustrated with a
strong label: "Children humiliated”. Then, the usual: that in these ages
the important thing is education (what education?), that the values of sport…
(without saying which values), that something must be done to avoid children
having traumas (sic) , that from 5 or 10 goals difference no more goals should be
registered in the score sheet…
The coach of the Union Deportiva (the winning team), who was considered by the
media and the social networks as guilty for this "abuse", defended himself by
saying that he had instructed his players to focus on different objectives rather
than to score goals (!); obviously, seeing what happened, to play a football
game without trying to score was something that these 10-year-old lads did not
understand well; and furthermore, taking into account that the opponent is the last
at the competition standing with no wins and neither draws, and has been heavily defeated
by many other teams, the difficult thing was not to score unless the goal
would had been removed!, an idea that I would not be surprised if soon is
suggested by an illuminated "educator" or "psychologist".
An adult linked to the defeated team, asked about how the children felt, said that
they felt bad "because all the noise in the media and the social networks
about their heavy defeat”. Not due to the defeat itself, but because the noise in the
media and the social networks!
In these ages, children may participate either in non-competitive
physical activity or competitive sport without giving importance to results,
standings, etc., which usually is the most appropriate to benefit from the experience; but if they compete,
they compete; and then they have to learn to compete with dignity and accept
any result. Losing by many goals or points is not humiliating, neither the kids usually perceive it like this in first place. We, the adults, through our comments in
the media and social networks or expressing this in front of the kids, are the
ones who encourage the idea that it is humiliating. On the contrary, losing by many goals or
points is a great opportunity to become stronger and begin to understand life
better. Obviously, if this happen every weekend it would be something very
frustrating which will provoke that children feel discouraged and may want to
quite from sport, so it is not good that this happen very often, although in no
case will it cause traumas that impede the healthy development of children
involved in sport. Please, do not invent!
The best situation is that a team that competes, play most of the games
against opponents of similar level, but nothing happens if from time to time it
loses or wins by a big score difference. And if a team receives heavy loses every
week, this means that it is not participating in the competition that corresponds
to its level. That being the case, the responsibility of the repeated abrupt
imbalance in the scoreboard is not of those stronger opponents who put their effort into scoring
goals (which is the purpose of the game), but of the adults who have registered
that very weak team in the wrong league. Is there only that league? In football
it is unusual that there are no other options, but being the only league available
it would be more reasonable to find other alternatives to play football, such
as for example, training to improve and playing games among themselves until
the players have the proper level to compete against external opponents.
It is questionable whether powerful clubs like the Union Deportiva or others,
should have 10-year-old teams. Probably, they should not. They gather the best
players of their environment weakening their opponents, and also have better means to
prepare, so, usually, their competitive experience every week is killing very
inferior rivals. Is that the best way to improve for those children who stand
out now? Evidently, no; and in fact, the vast majority does not go very far.
But this is another issue that should not deviate us. Whether being superior, similar or inferior to the adversary,
participating in a competition match is, as the name indicates, competing; and in
football that means trying your best to score goals and avoid that the other team scores. We talk
about developing values and education over sports performance in youth sport.
Agree; but what values are those? Don´t do the best effort? Is that
educational? Respecting the weaker opponents is not to make it easy for them,
but to act with sportsmanship, without mocking neither exceeding external signs of
euphoria when the team is winning widely. With that respect, the inferior team
is not humiliated. However, it is very humiliating to know yourself inferior
and to see that the superior rivals don´t want to shoot to score because they
feel pity about you. What about the dignity of those who lose? Is it related to
a not bulky score, or to the fact that the opponent respects you as an
equal? Children humiliated because they lose heavily, or because they are treated
like low category poor boys who need a charity treatment?
About stopping the registration of goals or points in the official
score sheet when the difference is very wide (for example, just after 10 goals in
football or 50 points in basketball, as it is ruled in some regions of Spain),
with all my respect to those who support this, it is one of the most aberrant and
humiliating measures that I've heard in my life. The officials may stop registering
goals or baskets achieved, but as currently happens, these will continue to be covertly
counted by parents, coaches and the own children, so everyone will know what
the real result is. Why this overprotection? We defend that sports should serve
to educate children, and nevertheless, we teach them to ignore reality and
believe in a lie to feel better. Educational? Values? It is much more
humiliating to have to explain that the score sheet had to be closed because
the other team had 10 goals of advantage in the 20th minute, than saying that
the other team was much better and then won by many goals or points. Moreover, as
I pinpointed above, the latter is not humiliating, but part of a competition
game. And the experience of many years in sport is that, regardless how hard it
is, children learn to assume defeat when adults around them accept it
naturally. Those who speak of humiliation are coaches, managers, organizers and
parents. They are the ones who feel humiliated or interpret that children are
humiliated. It is the ego of adults that suffers, and that is coupled with the
tendency to overprotect children: always have to have fun; always have to be happy; never have to feel the slightest disappointment or frustration. Is this education for life?
In "Alice in Wonderland", there is a race in which the participants
leave and arrive from and to where they want, and in the end, the verdict of
the dodo bird is that all have won and, therefore, all must get the prize. When
sport becomes this, it may continue to be a source of entertainment, but it
loses its strength as an educational and value development tool. The sport competition
is a very valuable instrument to learn to tolerate frustration, overcome
difficulties, persevere to improve, seek excellence and become mentally
stronger, always respecting colleagues, opponents and rules. A powerful tool
that teaches to accept that sometimes you win and others you lose, and offers the opportunity to learn to manage
both "impostors": victory and defeat; the joy and the disappointment.
Obviously, the competitive dose should be appropriate according to the age and
level of the participants, but this does not mean that absurd norms must
distort which in reality means competing. Following the aberrant contradiction
of “doing competitive sport but without
competing”, why not to establish that all the teams, necessarily, have to score
a minimum of goals so that the children leave happy and have no “traumas”? In
the last part of the game, the goalkeeper of the team winning by many goals
would have to let the opponent to score (educational?). And even if those goals
were not scored, the score sheet of the game would reflect that they were
achieved (educational?). It could be also established that those who are much
better should play just with one leg, or to remove from the pitch the goal of
the team that is losing, so the superior opponent can´t get more goals. More
ideas to enhance the "educational" values of sport?
The problem is not in the competition, neither the solution in
adulterating its essence, but in how we adults handle such a powerful tool.
There are coaches who are obsessed with winning at all costs; parents who press
and overprotect their children; organizers who invent rules to justify their
presence; and media that take advantage of striking results to denounce alleged
grievances that are soon forgotten. Luckily, there are also many adults who act
responsibly and understand that the protagonists are the children and not their
own egos, disruptive ideas or changing emotions. These adults understand, and
act accordingly, that truly competing, with better and worse days, joys and
frustrations, help young athletes to become stronger to face life, and that
both inappropriate demands and overprotection nullify or minimize this valuable
effect.
"We lost 47-0 and we go with our heads up because we did what we could and
the rivals were much better. Congratulations to them. And thank you for
treating us with respect, without feeling pity for us. Now we are somewhat
discouraged, a little low. It is normal. But on Tuesday we will train and have
fun playing football again. And next week we have another game. Let's see if we
do it better than today”.
In order to take advantage of sport to develop mental strength and
promote key values to cope with life, it would be more appropriate that
adults help children to react more or less like above, instead of insisting on
the absurdity of being humiliated or supporting that the score sheet of the
game should reflect a lie. Children humiliated, or adults who miss the
opportunity to educate them?
Chema Buceta
Basketball Coach and Sport Psychologist
(English version: 24-12-2017)
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